A taste of my own medicine.

As the files trickled one by one into my Dropbox I eagerly clicked and double clicked into the files to see what I didn’t know would be just what I needed.

It seems, every few months or so my foot gets caught in a trap…of comparison, of bad self-talk, of really honestly thinking I can’t do anyyything and I find myself asking God,

“Hey…I know you want me to lay this down….that is what you’re saying right? Because I’m listening…God send me a sign if I’m suppose to walk away from this whole dream and just be ____, ____ or ____.”

(Fill in what you will…most times lately it’s filled in with ‘just a mom‘).

So when Kristen was sending me the video clips she had taken from the session I had done with my friends Treacy & Jay in California last month, I couldn’t help but think “Why bother”. I was going to give this up, lay it down, let it go. Dreams don’t come true I guess, and while it was nice that Kristen was sending me the files, this was so last week for me.

And then I started opening them one by one. And cue the tears, tears, runny nose…all the things. What I saw with my eyes is just what I needed and didn’t know it.

Kristen had given me a taste of my own medicine…and it’s exactly what I needed.

When I photograph my couples, I see it as an opportunity to create an experience for them to connect. To share about the past & future…where they’ve come from and where they’re going. I tell them to play, to hold each other, to share their dreams for the future, and to ask them to hold each other in a way that would take away all the pain they had ever felt. To be reminded why they journey this life together.

And so when I saw these video clips, I saw why I do these things. I was transported back to that breezy evening at Muir Beach with people in long coats and 14 year olds swimming in the cold Pacific waters. To Treacy & Jay holding each other, and them telling one another why they fell in love with each other, and why they keep loving each other. I was given a new perspective on what I create every time I pick up a camera, and how it makes me feel. Those moments where the perfect light, the perfect hold, and the perfect connection makes me go click on the shutter to save that moment. And the experience I create and have with my people…it was shown to me in a whole new light.

Thank you Kristen, you have given me such a gift. You have no idea what a reminder of that experience would bring to my spirit to keep pursuing what I was born to do.

I’d love for you to check out my new 1 minute video! More videos to come because Kristen knocked it out of the park and got SOOO many goodies…enjoy <3



Author: Alicia Sturdy

Fan of cities, the beach, wild curls and Ina Garten. Photographer and owner of Hither & Hold.

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  • Isn’t it such a gift to see ourselves through someone else’s eyes? I’m so glad that you had this moment of clarity and were able to experience for yourself what you do for others. I LOVE how your film turned out, and can’t wait to watch you continue to grow. <3